Bitter Blue
by Delirium's Child
Summary: Song fic. Not a happy ending.


**Song: _Baby Blue  
_****Artist: Bad Boys Blue**

Disclaimer: The Plum characters and universe are Janet's. The song belongs to Bad Boys Blue.

Note: No beating up the writer, please.

**00000000000000000000000000000000**

The day was overcast and the city of Trenton's normally dull façade was muted even further than usual, turning it into a barely three-dimensional world of smoggy gray. No colors seemed to seep through the overpowering dreariness, not the cars or even clothing. Even the hookers down on Stark Street were dulled, their sequins un-flashing, their neon clothing somehow drab.

Then again, maybe it was just her mood.

She sighed as she turned out of the ghetto and began making her way back to more familiar haunts. At least she could go down Stark Street without fearing for her life anymore, that was good. The fact that she considered access to Stark Street to be positive, now that was another matter altogether. In fact it was that matter that was determining why she had gone there today. It was to prove a point. One last, final affirmation that she was herself, she could do anything. She had won that battle, that war.

But you can only fight so many places at once. It was suicide fighting a war on two fronts, a simple rule. It was time to give up now, to surrender. And so she had, as the gold band on her left hand reminded her.

The time of flying was over. It was time to settle down now, in a safe cozy haven. No more life threatening situations, no more violence or guns or anything like that. No more adrenaline rushes unless you counted the rush of satisfaction from a spotless window or a perfect soufflé.

_You tried to hide yourself in a shell,  
__You wanted heaven but you got hell  
__And then the darkness gained control over you.  
__When everything turned into bitter blue  
__You went into the land of no return_

The battle was over. The flight was done, long ago. So why was she here? Why had she gone to Stark Street today? It was something she didn't want to think about. Another one of those things to shove to the back of her mind and forget, because the reason was not something the Burg would like to know. It wasn't even something she liked to know. She pretended not to, even.

But she did. She was looking for hope on Stark Street. And that told her more than she wanted to know. Of course she hadn't found it, there was no hope left in Stark. It packed up its bags and caught the last train out a decade ago. She had the unsettling wish that she had gone with it, should have run out when she had the chance.

Aunt Rose's curtains were still in the window of the front room, having outlived their owner by several years now. She couldn't bring herself to get rid of them; it felt like imposing. Actually, she hadn't changed that much of the house at all, hadn't felt that it was right for her to do it. It wasn't like this was her place. Nothing she liked would have fit here anyway.

_Chorus_:

_I cry over you  
__Baby Blue  
__I cry over you  
__Baby Blue._

_They never ever gave you a chance  
__No dreams  
__No hopes  
__No helping hand_

There hadn't been time to say anything. It all happened so fast- the Junkman was gone and the bruises were healing and taking the nightmares with them and somewhere in the middle of all that, in the middle of all the sidelong looks and suspicious glances she had just wanted them to smile, just once, so she said all right, smiled when the moment was right and said "I do" when the priest asked.

Everyone smiled. Everyone hugged her and said how happy they were. And no one saw the new bruises or the new tears. No one asked about the red rimmed eyes or the bottles of pills slowly filling up the medicine cabinets. No one.

_Someone took all the colors out of your life,  
__That's when one night you  
__Left it all behind;  
__You went into the land of no return_

No one knew about her trips to Stark Street, either. No one knew they were becoming more and more frequent. Or maybe they did know but didn't want to say anything. She doubted it; no one ever avoided saying something that juicy in the Burg.

She looked down at the bottle she had pulled from her purse and absently twisted the cap off, shook out a couple of the pills. Ah, the blue ones. They were her favorites- took the edge off without making her too sleepy. Just enough to make it through. Hell, sometimes she could swear blue was the only color she could see anymore.

She popped a couple into her mouth and swallowed. Funny, she had thought the doc gave her more than that… she paused to go back through the day in her head. Well, maybe she had taken a few more than usual. It was a rough couple of days.

She yawned, feeling suddenly tired just thinking about it. Well, there was a couple hours before she needed to worry about fixing dinner. Maybe a quick nap wouldn't be such a bad idea. Actually, it sounded like a hell of a plan, she decided as the drowsiness crept up on her. The couch was soft and comfortable, but the room felt chilly. The AC was probably on too high. He always was such a homesick Eskimo…

She pulled the throw blanked off the back to cover herself with as she settled into the pillow. Just a couple hours of naptime…

She felt herself falling away, then flying up and up, higher… straight for the sun. She always loved the dreams where she was flying, they always made her feel so much better.

_I cry over you  
__Baby Blue  
__I cry over you  
__Baby Blue._

_They never ever gave you a chance  
__No dreams  
__No hopes  
__No helping hand_


End file.
